UNDERSTANDING and FORGIVENESS lead to GOD

God is everywhere present, all knowing, all powerful, all matter and all spirit. God is all there is. I AM that I AM.

PETE'S JOURNAL, September 2000

9-1-00
Started ten day water fast.

9-2-00
Again, the first and most important thing in the beginning is to purify the physical body. Then soon after beginning to purify the body begin to cleanse the mind. One is either struggling upward or sliding back----no matter, the moments, days, weeks gain or loss----stay on the path.

Gains in the first 90 days: (%=The amount I did, compared to what I should have done)

fasting=30 days, 99%
here and now=failed
reading=75%
diet upgrade=99%
quit drinking pepsi=99%
eating pastry=failed
deleted foods=90%
quit drinking alcohol=95%
barefoot, sunbathing, deep breathing=50%
clean up language=75%
prayer and affirmations=50%
exercise program=failed
slept out under the stars 15 nights=50%
weight lose=failed
feeling much better=99%
pages of diary=15, 99%
learn computer=25%

9-3-00
Broke fast after 3 days. Just drank water all three days, thought about juice some. Will eat a couple of days and start a water or juice fast again. Try, try, try.

9-5-00
I have been doing deep breathing exercises for about four months now. I am finding quite often now, my body just taking over and breathing in deep breaths of air without my thinking about it. Often catching me by surprise because I am thinking about something else.

Recently I have started thinking or internally chanting,'I AM one with GOD' on inhalation and,`I AM that I AM' on exhalation. Doing this (chanting) and repeating the Essene communions three times a day helps to remind me continually that I am on a spiritual path.

Old habits and thought patterns are hard to break and I find myself slipping back into them all to often. I know that with continual practice I will soon be able to lift my thinking above my old thought patterns and focus on the path all (or most) of the time.

9-6-00
Had a nice day with Juanita. The dogs, ducks and rabbits have been fed. Chores done. Evening time, quiet time.

9-7-00
Did a one day fast today. I'm trying one day fasts from supper the day before until supper the next day. Eating a evening meal of cleansing food. Worked well. Sauna today.

9-8-00
Fasting today.
When I last walked the path before I experienced what I called, 'mind ripples'. Every month or so I would become disoriented and extremely confused. Some times it would take me a day or so to realize I was being affected by a mind ripple. I don't know the source of these mind ripples but I have read that sunspot activity affects the earths magnetic field which in turn affects some peoples minds.

I knew a nurse that worked on the mental health ward at a hospital in a fare sized city nearby and would call her when I experienced a mind ripple and ask about the wards population. Invariably she would say they had a full house as of last night or that morning.

Most of the patients that came in thought they were crazy or going crazy and were being treated for various types of insanity. When in fact most of these patients have a gift of being sensitive to the cycles in nature. Its not 'normal' to be sensitive to natures cycles in this culture, so they are crazy, and being had by the system, and themselves because of the lack of information and understanding.

The hospital allowed visitors on the ward and for awhile I tried to help those patients that would listen to me. I remember one very nice man, I can't remember his name now, about thirty five years old who had a serious car accident and sustained severe head injuries.

After he was able to go home, from the hospital, his father who had passed on years before, came to visit him often and would sit on the edge of his bed at night and chat with him. He told his wife about his father's visits and his wife told the rest of the family and he soon found himself committed to the, "loonie bin".

This poor man was the victim of his families ignorance and the systems intolerance for any experience other than, what they call, "normal". Good grief!!! Well, we got to talking and he said, "I just want to go home." "I'm not going to hurt anyone, I don't understand why everyone is so upset." The man carried on a perfectly normal conversation and seemed normal in every respect except... that he saw and talked to his dead father. To me, a real gift. I asked him if he would like me to help him get out of there, and he said he would.

First I said, don't talk to anyone about your father except to people who will understand. Its OK to visit with your father, just don't tell anyone, particularly your family. I told him, I believed it was a gift and he had gotten his ability to see and hear his father because of his head injuries. And that he definitely was not crazy.

He said he didn't think he was crazy either, just confused and lacked understanding of his situation. He said he just wanted his life back the way it was before the accident and even wished his dad would stop visiting him. I asked him if he really meant that, and he said "no" that he really loved his father and was very close to him, and enjoyed talking to him.

I asked my friend the nurse the rules for getting out of there and she gladly told me because she did not think the man belonged in there either. I told the fellow what she told me. Get better slowly. Enter into the therapy groups. Tell the doctors that he was feeling a little better and that his father was visiting him less and less over time. Call your wife and family and talk normal, don't mention your father and if it comes up, down play it and say he hasn't been around for awhile.

Try to establish, "normal" relations with everyone. Keep up on current events, read the daily newspaper, memorize the headlines, always know the day of the week and the date. The doctors will ask you questions before your release: what year is it, what's the presidents name, what did you have for supper last night, count back wards from a hundred, what's your wife and mother's names etc. When they ask you how you feel, don't get carried away, just say, "Oh, I'm feeling pretty good now, a lot better than I was." The man was released some time later and went back to live with his wife and family. I never saw him again.

Most people don't know this but a psychiatrists or other mental health workers can get a persons civil rights suspended for observation for up to four days ( in the 1970's) even if that person voluntarily asks for help, even if they are not committed.

9-9-00
Eating today. Had a nice day with, Juanita. We went to town shopping and took a steam bath and then I spent some time teaching her to swim.

9-10-00
Fasting today. Sometimes when I am fasting I get what I call a, "sick stomach". My stomach seems to fill up with toxic matter that just sits there and hurts. I've found that I can clean my stomach out by taking one heaping teaspoon of psyllium seed mixed in a glass of warm water. Mix and drink in a hurry, because the psyllium seed swells and sticks to everything. You can buy psyllium seed at any health food store. They are much cheaper at health food stores that carry bulk herbs.

9-11-00
Eating today.

9-12-00
Eating today. One day fasts, from supper to supper the next day, and then eating a cleansing meal, are working well. Losing weight. Drinking two glasses of lemonade, made with honey, during the day to enhance cleansing. Feeling well generally.

9-13-00
Fasting today.

9-14-00
Fasting today. Working to be aware (remembering) that I AM one with God every minute of the day. And to do His Will, not mine. Remembering daily the three aspects of the path: purifying my body, purifying my mind, changing my thinking; so that I can unite with my Soul. Living here and now, with each breath.

God is Love, Light , Life, Law. God Is I AM. I Am One with God. God is All. I Am All. I AM Free. I AM, Love, Light, Life, Law. I AM Everything. I AM that I A.M. I reach for the awareness of this union with my mind and body continually.

Today is Unity's 2000 World Day of Prayer. "Centered in Your sacred presence, Dear God, I join my spiritual family in a prayerful partnership that blesses the world. May all people find peace in Almighty God's love and understanding. Amen."


9-15-00
Fasting today.

9-16-00
Eating today. Had a hot cake w/hash brown potatoes and gravy for breakfast. Disappointing meal. Tasted good but didn't set right. I spent a couple of hours afterwards asking, "Now why did I do that to myself?" I hope the experience will help me overcome my obsession with that meal. Had a steam bath in town.

9-17-00
Fasting today. Feeling very up.
Very briefly, I want to mention again: Physical purity without Mental purity + The unseen = insanity. While you are fasting, work on the mind every day; prayer, affirmations, forgiveness, meditation, study... work to lift the body and mind together. Remember that the world you live in now is insane, familiar and seemingly rational, but still insane. The path you now walk is the return to reality and sanity.

Have no fear because 'God and you are One' and God walks the path with you all the way. If fear creeps in say, over and over, "I Am One with God, I AM One with God, I AM One with God," and go on. Stay on the path. "God is Love, Light, Life, and Law." I give you these cautions from my own experience, maybe you won't need them at all, but NOW is the time to caution, later caution will be of no use.

9-18-00
Eating today. Steam bath this morning. Feeling well. Wt. 244.

9-19-00
Eating today. One mental trap that I experienced briefly was the radio talking to me. I have no idea how this works. I would be thinking a thought about something and someone on the radio would make a comment that fit right in with my thoughts. I listened to the radio for an evening, trying to figure out how this connection could work, and then turned the radio off and never listened to it again.

Later, I was trying to help a girl at the hospital physic ward that had and obsession that she was going to die before she turned thirty. I asked her how she knew this. And she said, "The TV tells me that every day." We were sitting in front of a TV and someone on a program said, "You don't have many days left," and the girl said, "see" and I said that I heard it but that it didn't mean anything. And she protested and told me that the TV was talking directly to her. I suggested that she turn the TV off, but she said that she couldn't do that.

This girl was completely caught-up (trapped) in the illusion that the TV was talking to her personally. When she doesn't die before thirty, the TV will probably give her another goal, until she figures it out, that what she is into, is insanity, and turns the TV off. She was very attractive and nice, and could have had a happy creative life, but was trapped in her obsessive illusion.

When I was a young man, I knew a woman in my hometown, that said the newspaper and some magazines had personal messages for her. She claimed the newspapers often answered her recent questions about her personal life. I believe she held to this illusion for most of her life.

When I had my experience with the radio, I had been working in the unseen for awhile. The thing is to always remember the goal: 'uniting the conscious mind with the Soul'. Little tricks of the mind or minor powers could possibly lead a person astray for a long time. The test is whether or not something you are doing helps you along the path. I plan to discontinue my newspaper subscription and watching TV soon.

9-20-00
Fasting today. Went grocery shopping in town. Had steam bath. My skin is becoming clear and smooth.

9-21-00
Fasting today. Went to dentist this morning. Juanita's nephew, flew to Tiawan today to teach school for a year.

9-22-00
Fasting today.

9-23-00
Eating today. Went to town, had steam bath and a swim.

I'm trying every day to remember to live in the here and now. When I'm writing in this journal or talking to someone I often refer to the past or the future. But in my own mind I try to stay in the present. And I am practicing at staying positive in thought, word and deed and to appreciate life.

It is an amazing experience to really see things you are looking at. When you stop looking at the woods and start seeing the individual trees. Each one is unique and grew from a single cell just as we did. When I think of that growth process I am in awe of all living things.

To really appreciate things around you requires that you slow way down and focus your attention on what you are looking at, instead of thinking about a million different things as you casually glance around, not really seeing anything.

I AM One with the Heavenly Father. (The male, spirit aspect of Almighty God) I have read that Almighty God is completely beyond man's comprehension. I believe this is so. It seems our best indicators of God's presence is in nature and nature spirits, heavenly angels, miracles, and the example of great spiritual leaders like Jesus and Buddha; and other ascended Masters, and our own personal contact.

I believe that both Jesus and Buddha were just men born of woman like all of us today, and they figured out how to join their conscious mind with their infinite mind of the Soul. (Almighty God) In Buddha's case we have a complete history of his path from disillusioned prince to Illumined Being. Lost scrolls have been found in recent years that give us a clearer picture of Jesus' path.

There may be thousands of paths but the goal for all are the same. Like the spokes on a wheel all lead to the hub. Simplistic but true. It seems that all paths would be unknown until they are walked, however, there are a lot of teachers or gurus out there pointing to one way or another.

I believe the path, the Seekers Path, vaguely outlined in this journal is good because it allows for communication around the world with others on their paths; and the exchange of information, and the caring love of others of like mind... when a little support is needed.

9-24-00
Fasting today. I AM One with the Earthly Mother. (The female, material aspect of Almighty God.)

9-25-00
Eating today. I AM One with God's Love. The reason I have stressed mental purity so heavily is that what ever thoughts, feelings or attitudes you enter the unseen with you will find there. If you are fearful you will find many things to be afraid of, which I experienced in some measure.

If your body and mind are pure and your heart is filled with love for all of God's creation, you will find that love reflected in the unseen also. It's the same in this everyday reality, if you are fearful, you will find plenty of things to be afraid of, and if you are happy and cheerful you will be happy. Be Love.

9-26-00
Eating today. I AM One with God's Life.

9-27-00
Fasting today. I AM One with God's Light. Nitrates like nite (night) are darkness. "Nitrogen or darkness 66 and 666." (Oahspe Bible) The nitrate preservative in canned meats is a serious pollutant in the body. It dims the spiritual senses. Silver nitrate is the reflective material on mirrors(be careful around public mirrors). Nitrates are the basis for most modern day fertilizers used by commercial food producers. This is a good reason for eating organically grown foods.

Meat is high in nitrogen, one of the reasons for spiritual seekers vegetarian diet. Nitric acid is the basic material in most modern day explosives i.e. nitroglycerine, dynamite and gun cotton. Nitrous oxide gas used by dentists is a serious pollutant. I try and stay away from all foods and materials that have nitrogen derivatives in them. More information needed. Please email me.

9-28-00
Eating today. I AM One with God's Law. Steam bath and swim.

9-29-00
Eating today. I AM One with God's wisdom.

9-30-00
Fasting today. I AM One with God's abundance.

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